12/50 Yoga Confessional

1. All the books

I’m a reader. Always have been. No matter how late (or medicated) I go to bed I have to read my book before I turn the light out. And it will be a book of fiction* or possibly a memoir or some poetry, not one of the few yoga/spiritual type books I own. In fact, while I’ve flicked through them, only two have been read from cover to cover.

As much as I soak up (literally leaning forwards, ears perked up) what my teachers share, or what I read online in snippets or pick up in book shops, I just don’t have any inclination to read all the books that yoga teachers swear by… placed, lovingly worn, on studio shelves, raved about on social, quoted from during class.

(Have you dismissed me yet?)

I don’t know why really, except I, ah, don’t want to. I’m always interested in what’s recommended but shy away from being told I “must,” read such and such. This might have something to do with being slightly contrary although I doubt it. I seem quite reasonable to me.

It’s likely that one day something will click and I’ll bore you all to tears with my newfound knowledge. Something to look forward to as you back away slowly.

Until then, I have a stack of library books to shake out due to disgusting things that could be between the pages and a couple of new ones I bought for someone else but kept.

*I read Middlemarch during labour. (Sounds weirder than it was. I think.)

2. Meh, handstands

Once, in a time not so long ago, in a world where an orange idiot didn’t preside over a big country, all I wanted was to stand perfectly still on my hands, upside down.

I practiced religiously, went to workshops and got up okay but not over the fear of falling on my head. (Believe it or not, it happens a LOT in my life.) Then I got injured and had to stop doing anything that aggravated my shoulders and neck.
And just like that, I lost interest.

Although initially I found it hard to sit out parts of class watching others learn and conquer, and I eventually, sneakily, tried them again at home, I didn’t care any more if I would ever post an image to light up social media. Now I do headstands for my inversion fix and take terrible pics using my phone’s selfie timer.

I blame Trump.

3. Challenges

Insta challenges: a series of poses photographed and shared daily on Instagram over a period of time, usually led by a group of well-known yogis.

Some people love them.
Many people enter them.
I like, comment and wish them well.
I’ve never done one.

Not enough time, I thought.
Too much opportunity to beat myself up over not being good enough, I thought.
A hassle getting a decent pic, I thought.

And now?
Now, I sob quietly (not whining) over my laptop, like a lone wolf (dramatic), as I continue my blog challenge. Which was a MUCH better idea (I AM ROLLING MY EYES).

I hope we can still be friends.

Can you quote Rumi without Google? Can you stand on one hand? Are you in a challenge right now?
I still like you, if you are!

Photo by Pedro de Sousa

© The Yoga Connection 2017

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