49/50 Ch, Ch, Changes

1. Completely changed my mind about turning fifty

What a ridiculous idea!

It’s possible I might not be as accepting of this situation as I first thought.

There’s still so much I’ve not done that surely as an adult I should have achieved by now.

Is it too late for me to become a domestic goddess?
Ride a horse saddle-less along a deserted beach in slow motion?
Reverse park without taking the curb with me?
Find my way anywhere using directions?
Get a handle on small talk?
Actually do the pelvic floor exercises I told my GP I was doing after giving birth twenty-one years ago?
Have investments and/or a yacht?

There’s more but I don’t want to appear neurotic. I just want my youth back.

Failing that, I might have a party.

2. Subway losing novelty value

Been feeling quite proud of all my subway-ing. Although it’s taken up a lot more time than it needed to due to heading uptown when I thought I was going downtown, getting off too early/too late and the strategy involved in not using your pass by mistake before you’ve even got on the train. Also, I am continually targeted by a group saving sinners so, you know, there have been difficulties.

Today though, the whole wahoo, look at me riding the subway, (of which there were three more stops than necessary this afternoon) got a little tired as I encountered in close proximity:

Fungal toe poking through cut-out of shoe. A black toe, swollen with pus. Yes, that’s right.
A big snorting, sniffer. Over and over.
A thorough ear picker. Actually leaning over towards me so he could get right in there.
Stare cats. Ugh.
Sewer smells. Feet smells. All the smells.
Fights. Between strangers. Between a couple. That one got physical.
Precocious children. ‘Mommy, I don’t feel comfortable discussing this on public transport.’ – Five-year-old-ish dismissing Mommy’s suggestion he might like to sign up for a group violin session.

3. Practicing yoga is not my job

And I’m good with that. I run TYC website due to a passion for my own yoga practice and my love of sharing what’s available out there, what drives this community. I have a morning sequence I do at home every day whether I get into a studio or not but recently have been aware that people seem to expect me to practice all day, every day, at different studios. That would be fun (sometimes) yet I’m quite busy keeping the website ticking over, keeping the information relevant and supporting brands that support me. Basically trying to build and run a business like anyone else working for themselves.

I’ve felt a strong sense of expectation lately to be what is assumed I am even though I’m not – to make the personal part of my practice a duty.

But it’s not and it would change everything if I let myself be swayed by the presumption of others. It’s part of my life, I love it, I need it and I learn from it every time I get on the mat.

And that’s not a job.

Change happens whether we want it to or not. But it’s refreshing, isn’t it, when you base changes on your own decisions. Go, us!

Any changes in your life at the moment?

Photo by Oluwakemi Solaja

© The Yoga Connection 2017

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