Dear Jane

1. I am wondering if you could help me be more ordered inside my draws? Any practical solutions would be greatly received. You see I love order on the outside, but when I open the cupboards and draws everything is just stuffed in (shocking, I know!). My socks keep going missing and then I go out and I look perfect, but have holy mismatched socks underneath. It doesn’t feel good when I take my shoes off and I wonder if others notice! Dear god, what does this all say about me?

Dear Jane, I read your article, you said you could help. What shall I do? Is there a course or product for this?

Thank you,

Dear Josephine*,

You obviously have a LOT of issues. Immediately I sense that the disorder of your draws is a metaphor for disorder in your life. I’m quick like that.

Firstly, a piece of practical advice: Never take your shoes off. Friends who ask you to take your shoes off aren’t real friends. Secondly, in terms of a ‘product’ are you thinking of staff although we do like to think of them as humans too (because, yoga) rather than products. If you do have staff then you should make clearer your expectations about your draws, socks and miscellaneous other menial work that you’re perfectly capable of doing yourself.

Should that convo fail, get rid of either all your draws and go down the open shelves, minimal path of capsuling your wardrobe (yawn) or get rid of everything inside the draws and start again (more fun).

Thanks for writing in. Appreciate that you feel you’re in a safe space to talk about your draws.

Love, Jane

*I’m calling Josephine, Josephine because that is her name. If you wish to be anonymous just sign off as such. And then I’ll make the final decision.

2. Why do you no more talk to me? I miss you.


Dear Darnica*,

We have never talked so therefore I don’t miss you. But thanks for writing in!

Love, Jane

*Darnica is a robot with a Russian accent. But there is no bias here.

3. Did you lie about watching the entire second season of Stranger Things without me?


Dear Anon,

Nooooooooooo. Nope. Absolutely not. No!

Love, Jane

I hope you’ve found something that might resonate with you on Dear Jane.
I highly doubt you have but if there’s anything at all I can help you with, please do write in to:
I’m absolutely full of info. Chocka block.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli

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